14.4: Enforcing Your Boundaries Animation Video
Transcript:
Enforcing Your Boundaries
Dating relationships often include some type of physical intimacy, such as holding hands and kissing. Before you start dating, you should know how you feel about being physically intimate with another person. It is better to know your limits and boundaries before you are in a situation that requires a quick decision. Once you know what your boundaries are, it is much easier to communicate them to your partner and enforce your boundaries.
The first step to enforcing your boundaries is to decide what your boundaries are.
To decide what your boundaries are in regards to physical intimacy, consider your values, beliefs, and goals. If you are unsure about what to think, talk about it with a trusted adult like a parent or guardian. Once you have decided your boundaries, write them down to help you remember them.
Next, you must communicate these boundaries to the other person.
Tell your dating partner what your boundaries are. Be open and honest about your feelings involving physical intimacy. If you do not let your partner know what your boundaries are, your partner will not be able to respect your decisions regarding physical intimacy. Let your partner know that you will enforce these boundaries. Stating your boundaries up front will help prevent situations with unwanted physical intimacy.
Once you have communicated your boundaries with your partner, there may still be situations which tempt you to compromise your boundaries. Avoiding these risky situations can help you maintain your decisions.
If there are situations that you know might lead you to compromise your boundaries, stay clear of them. Leave any situation in which you or your physical boundaries feel threatened. No one has any right to overstep your boundaries.
Finally, be active in enforcing your boundaries.
Verbally say “no” to any activities that may violate your boundaries. Be firm and speak clearly. Repeat your decision, if necessary. Know that someone who loves you will respect you and your boundaries. You are allowed to have a different decision about physical intimacy than someone else. Do not feel ashamed to ask that your personal boundaries be respected.
If you formally decide what your boundaries are before you are confronted with a risky situation, you will be more prepared to enforce these boundaries. Even if you do not predict a physically intimate relationship in your near future, it is still important to decide now what your boundaries are.